House ***Update***

Well, we got outbid for the house. It kind of sucks, but also it was a nice house at the price we bid, but not as nice as its actual price, so I'm pretty much fine with it in the end. Also, the whole thing developed so quickly that I think I'll be a lot more comfortable with the process after a few more weeks/months of checking out the market.

Funny Internet Stuff

The internet isn't just for porn anymore, people! Apparently you can learn to hack into traffic signs:
Or you can learn about urinals designed to either assist users or, perhaps, violently pull of their genetalia:
Or, maybe best of all, you can remind yourself of how much smarter you are than the average criminal:

House??!??

What costs a quarter million dollars and can be destroyed by either of the two previous posts?

Did I hear someone say a new house, because they're right. This is a picture of a house that Beth and I are in the process of bidding on up here in Anchorage. It's not exactly where we want to live, and puts Beth out of walking distance from her job, but its bikeable and has a bus line that comes within about 3 blocks of both home and work. As for the house itself, it's in great shape, has an awesome backyard, a good kitchen, a nice master bedroom, 2 bathrooms, an office, an extra bedroom, another bedroom that will mostly be a gear room, lots of light, a big playroom/ TV room downstairs, a nice living room upstairs, a new back deck and moose prints in the yard.

The idea of a mortgage might scare the shit out of me. But the thought of living in this house the rest of the time I'm in Anchorage sure doesn't.

and Volcano?

Over the past 2 days, Mt Redoubt, a 10,000 foot high volcano just over 100 miles from Anchorage, has seen a dramatic increase in seismic activity accompanied by observations of increased sulfur gas emissions. An overflight showed that no eruption was in progress, but the Alaska Volcano Observatory raised the Volcano Alert Level to "Advisory" which is colored orange, indicating an impending election (get it? fucking neocons.) although an eruption is not necessarily immenent. You can read the report and get further updates from the observatory.

Earthquake!

At 9:10 on Saturday morning a magnitude 5.8 earthquake shook the Kenai Peninsula and the city of Anchorage. How strong is a magnitude 5.8 quake, you ask? Scientifically speaking, its strong enough to wake up 50% of Anchorigians sleeping in a basement apartment downtown, but thats just nerd-talk.

Here's the details: USGS earthquake summary

P.S. For clarification, Beth was the one who actually felt it, while I slept like a baby.

The two Vegai

*** in loving memory of the old Jon Wiener, the one that strangers were afraid of ***

I made my first trip to Vegas last fall, and liked it so much that I made my second trip last fall, too. In fact, I made the second trip before I even got back from the first. And I don't mean that I booked a second visit on my way out of town or anything. I mean I was back in the casinos for another go-round before I was back in my apartment. So I guess that's what I could mean by the two Vegai....

But its not. No, the two Vegai both come from the first stay in Sin City. It was an excellent night, full of drinking and gambling, and much more drinking, followed by some more drinking and gambling. By the time I got back to the hotel not only was it light out, but the sun was hot. All around me, the high-rise hotels around me all seemed to have twins, my drunken double vision playing tricks on the mind....

Again, this isn't what I meant by the Vegai. The two Vegai are the two sides of the city: one where a $400 bottle of vodka gets you seats behind the velvet rope, and one where $5 chips get you a seat across from the Crash Davis of the Boston Red Sox, now a dealer at a 2nd (really 4th) tier casino. One where the rich go to blow off steam and money at top speed, and one where the not so rich hope not to get cleaned out too quickly. In the first, the bikinis at the pool are so small that you wonder why anyone would bother with the strip clubs. In the other, the alphas at the pool are so big that maybe you'll just hope (ahem) to see the girls later.

Its somewhere in this second Vegas that, taking cards from the former ballplayer, you'll find yourself an Italian, a Jew, a Pollack and a Swede, all proudly wearing a few strings of mardi gras beads collected in lieu of a larger cash payout for hitting blackjack. They've escaped Vegas #1 after helping themselves to its vodka and now they plan to milk free bourbon and cokes and bud heavies until, miraculously, better judgement steps in and sends them to bed, if that ever happens. In order of stereotype, they're happy because there are no italian women around to scream at them then age 30 years and gain 50 pounds in the space of 2 weeks. They're happy because if they want they can just tip a dollar every other drink, because the service really wasn't that great. They're happy because the dealer counts their cards for them, sparing them the difficulty of having to count to 21 (and just think of the trouble they've saved if one of their cards is an ace). They're happy because they're smart and attractive, but still not as attractive as their women, who are universally regarded as the most attractive in the world. And together they're happy because they're in Vegas, where everything gets done for you in the hope of a tip, even just a dollar chip, which means nobody will ask them to change one of the millions of lightbulbs shining overhead.

Feelin adult...

... I've been finding myself saying I feel old more and more often recently, like when I yawn at 9:30 at night or wake up feeling stiff after jogging (the day before) the day before, but this is different. This is the beginning of a confidence that I can actually someday be fit to lead a mature lifestyle, which is good because I'm getting closer and closer to biting off as much as I can possibly chew, if not more! Actually, it's Beth who's officially going to be doing the biting, but since we both feel like we're in this for the long haul I'll take the liberty of keeping myself at the center of this story.
You see, last Wednesday and Friday we met with mortgage lenders, and on Friday evening we met with a realtor to see a couple of houses. We're on no timetable to get anything done, but we don't want the next place we live to be a rental and our current apartment leaves some critical things to be desired, especially in the sunlight and screaming-in-the-middle-of-the-night departments. So we're getting prepared and keeping our eyes open. And I'm trying not to soil my boxers at the thought of tying myself to a contract that costs a quarter million (before taxes and interest) over the next 30 years.