5' 9.25"

I’ve been looking for a good doctor since I moved to Anchorage, so yesterday I had my first appointment with Dr. Kaltenborn. Being a first appointment, there was much medical history to discuss and many measurements to be made. My blood pressure was 114/60 (normal), my pulse was 44 bpm (freakishly athletic (he assumes with no intention of verifying this)) and, most importantly, I’m 5’ 9¼” tall.

Despite the fact that until last year my driver’s license listed me as 5’ 11” (the legacy of an optimistic 16-year-old with a tall father and flipper feet), my official height has been 5’ 8¾“ ever since I reluctantly admitted that I had stopped growing. And to tell the truth, although 5’ 8¾“ was a bit disappointing compared to my dad at 6’ 1” or when thinking about those flipper feet (seriously, I was 5’ tall and 95 pounds soaking wet with size 11 shoes!), once you put my 5’ 1” mother (herself long underestimated at 5’ flat) in the picture I was plenty happy with my height.

But 5’ 9¼“ is a whole new ballgame. That’s right on par with the average American man (5’ 9½“), to say nothing of how it towers over your basic Indonesian (just 5’ 2½“)! Suddenly, the driver’s seat feels too close to the wheel and the top shelf (that’s where grandma keeps the good stuff!) seems more reachable. I just hope I can still cram myself into our Queen-sized bed, that it’s not too expensive to have all of my clothes altered, and that my newly-raised center of gravity doesn’t leave me susceptible to being pushed over by the slightest breeze.

Come to think of it, there may be some trickle-down effects to my newfound stature as well. For instance, Beth finally gets to be 5’ 9” tall, after years of my rejecting that claim as impossible. I mean, I knew I was taller, but who would have thought that I was the one who was wrong here?

Anyway, it’s basically all pretty awesome from my (elevated) perspective. Oh, and to all the tall people out there who are smugly thinking to themselves that this is no big deal: shut up or I’ll punch your knees.